Murphy's Law: Work WITH It

I wore a rain coat for the walk, so the dogs wouldn't get wet. (it worked btw.)

Murphy's Law. Work WITH it.

The Rule Of Three

My old boss believed in the rule of three.

He said: "If you're supposed to do something, don't start until they ask you for it for the third time. I saved myself half of my workload that way."

Speaking With Your Hands

You know that you might be gesticulating a bit too much when your husband tells you that he loves watching you talk.

On Fidelity

"I never cheated on my wife. Which is sad, because I was trying."
--unknown

"A man is only as faithful as his options"
--Chris Rock

Life Observation

There is always another rock.

Observation from Filming

Camera adds 10 pounds. I guess a bigger camera adds more.

Coffee Table Book

Hubby loves giving presents that are more practical jokes than anything else.

This time he wanted to do something really special for his sister-in-law. He bought this lovely photo book about Northern Canada. The photos were stunning. So was the book - 24" x 34"!

Coffee table book.
Just add legs.

Sometimes Semantics Matter

When son was still living with us, if I didn't hide Jasmine's meat from him, he'd eat it. Not that there wasn't enough human food in the house! But her special cuts of roast beef, chicken, or turkey breast were certainly tempting.

One day he decided to mention to my mom-in-law that he was eating dog food ...

No, mom, please chill. Not dog food - food for the dog!

Democracy versus Dictatorship

In a democracy you get to choose who is going to screw you.

Czech President Steals a Ceremonial Pen

This made the news recently. Yup, that's the country I come from ... Czech President steals a ceremonial pen.

I hope he's learned something from this:

"Next time steal the camera first!"

Does That Work for You?

I think I already mentioned that I want to grow a tail. Why? So I could see our vet instead of having to go to a medical doctor.

I asked them and I was told that if I did grow one [tail] that they would! Anybody know how to grow a tail?

I was happy we finally got a family doctor in hopes of better care. Not only that didn't happen; it now takes 3 weeks to see a doctor.

Today they really cracked me up though. I was told to book a full physical. Fine, makes sense. So I'm trying to book one and the receptionist asks:

"I have November 17th at 11AM, does that work for you?"

Well, let me check my schedule. November of this year?

I Need an Assistant!

Today hubby complained about not having the right cleaning brush for his jerky gun.

Well, it was on the shopping list some time ago. Clearly I failed to note he actually didn't get it and didn't put it on a new list.

I said I could check off things from lists if we returned the list to me when done.

"That's another thing I'd have to remember!" he said.
(The first thing being remembering to take the list with him)

The only solution I see is to make two duplicate lists and then check off items from the duplicate ...

Ok, I need an assistant!

Women and Their Vehicles

Our future son in law is in trouble.

Daughter locked her keys in her car. It is his fault, because he has a spare key but wasn't at home.

What do you think, can he win the argument?

Men and Their Vehicles

In return for offering a favor [cleaning of the truck] I received a 15 page instruction manual on how to clean windows!

What is it with guys and their vehicles?

How am I feeling

My wife has been sick lately and everybody keeps asking how she's doing.

Nobody ever asks ME how I'm doing!

"They don't need to, they hear enough about it," she said.

How Genius Is That?

Gotta admire the system family doctors have around here.

It takes so long to get to see one that by the time you get there you're either dead or get better by yourself. How genius is that?

And if you do make it to the appointment they still get paid whatever they'd get for taking care of you.

I wonder if this could be applied to other professions ...

I Wish I Was a Dog

I wish I was a dog, so I could get some decent health care around here.

Imperatives of Fatherhood

The three imperatives of fatherhood are:

1. Get the kids in a good school.
2. Get the kids out of the school.
3. Get the school out of the kids.

--Just Brothers

Coming Home Unexpectedly

The other day I came home unexpectedly and I caught my wife ...


... vacuuming.

I'm either really lucky or really messy.
I didn't dare to ask which.