Who Should Run the World?

I'm not saying women should run the world ... but I am saying that men shouldn't.

Once a Toad, Always a Toad

I just figured it out!

Why women always expect their boyfriends and husbands to change? It's all the fairy tales we grow up with. You kiss the toad and it changes into a prince. You love a beast and it changes into a prince.

In real life? Once a toad, always a toad.

404 Not Found

404 Not Found: was anybody every looking for it? I know I wasn't.

Impressionism

Original quote: "My windows are not dirty, it's my dog's nose art."

Friend's comment: "I wonder why more dogs don't get named Picasso or Dali."

Me: "Because those aren't impressionist."

Certain Truths

Hubby: "We were talking about your and your puppies, today."
Me: "Making fun of me again, huh?"
Hubby: "No, not really. I was just pointing out certain truths, which were laughed at."

Frozen Dinner

So we're going to have frozen lasagna for dinner.

I go to turn on the oven to preheat it, then realize it doesn't need preheating. Well, I turn it on anyway. I unpack the lasagna and put them on the counter. I leave the kitchen.

We're sitting there waiting for our dinner to be ready; why aren't we smelling it yet?

I go to the kitchen to do something and find the lasagna still on the counter.

Hubby is not making much fun of me. What's wrong with that picture?

Turns out he was in the kitchen earlier; saw the lasagna on the counter. Thought nothing of it and left the kitchen.

Late dinner tonight.

A Down to Earth Astronaut?

Hubby was just on the phone with mom-in-law, who was talking about an astronaut she admires for being down to Earth.

If you're down to Earth, how good of an astronaut could you be?

Veterinary House-Calls Are Good For Housekeeping

Me: "Dr. Roxane is coming tonight."
Hubby: "Oh, great, mommy is gonna clean up the bathroom 'for us' again, guys."

Life's Wisdom According to Hubby

I'm always right. Just not always right off the bat.

Women, Gifts and Dishware

Hubby and I have totally different esthetics. What is amazing about him is that when buying things for me, he does a really good job figuring out what I would like.

"Why do I work so hard on that," he wondered. "Why did I look everywhere to find the dishware you would love?"

"So I wouldn't be as likely to throw them at you," I answered.

We figured that was a good advice for men everywhere.

I Love English Language

I love English, but seriously?
"This is where the truth lies"

Cleaning Problem

Here is the problem: cleaning any one thing just makes everything else look that much dirtier.

Police State?

Our town house complex got a new management.

The other day we got a memo in the mailbox, outlining new rules for the tenants. Among other things, the notice states the following:

"The front entrance of the unit is only to be used as means to enter and exit the unit, it is not to be used to ... or hang out on lawn chairs."

Thank you very much, management. What is the curfew?

Silence Worth of Thousand Words

My wife says volumes when she doesn't talk.

That's a New One

Hubby found a new way of shutting me up.

I started explaining something when he said: "I know what it is, I read your article."

Murphy's Law: Work WITH It

I wore a rain coat for the walk, so the dogs wouldn't get wet. (it worked btw.)

Murphy's Law. Work WITH it.

The Rule Of Three

My old boss believed in the rule of three.

He said: "If you're supposed to do something, don't start until they ask you for it for the third time. I saved myself half of my workload that way."

Speaking With Your Hands

You know that you might be gesticulating a bit too much when your husband tells you that he loves watching you talk.

On Fidelity

"I never cheated on my wife. Which is sad, because I was trying."
--unknown

"A man is only as faithful as his options"
--Chris Rock

Life Observation

There is always another rock.